谁能帮我看一下这篇文章有没有语法错误~文章有点长~希望您耐心看完，万分感激~~

第一处错误应改为：When I grow up, my dispositions changed, and I no longer dream to become a police woman, even though it still is a sacred occupation to me.
第二处错误应改为：I hope that After the graduation I can do the work about this，contributing my own strength to the motherland’s television business.
第三处错误应改为：Second. I have bought the camera and body carrying, for improve my professional skill.
第四处错误应改为：Third. Study Later period manufactures software independently. And edite short film by myself.
第五处错误应改为：Fourth. Because of that all practices are establishment above the theory ,so I plan that join in the graduate student to take a test and get the Master's degree.
最后一处错误改为：I will continue to trying hard to do this. If one day, y ou see my name in some television column's conclusion captions, I hope that you can smile to me. Because I am making the enterprise what I like, moreover I succeed .