英语高手快进

pesonel statement(introduction)

good morning,my dear teachers,my dear professors.i am very glad to be here for your interview.my name is song yonghao,i am 22 years old .i come from luoyang,a very beautiful aicent city.my undergratuade period will be accomplished in changan university in july ,2004;and now,i am trying my best for obtaining a key to tongji university.
generally speaking ,i am a hard working student especially do the thing i am interested in. i will try my best to finish it no matter how difficult it is. when i was sophomore, i found web design very interesting, so i learned it very hard . to weaver a homepage for myself, i stayed with my pesonel computer for half a month.,and i am the first one in my class who own his homepage. forthermore,i am a person with great perserverence. during the days preparing for the first examination,i insist on running every day, no matter what the weather was like.and just owning to this,i could concentrate on my study and succeeded in the end.
well ,in my spare time ,i like basketball, tennis and chinese chess. also english is my favorate.i often go to english corner to practise my oral english on every thursday,and write compositions to improve my witten ability .but i know my english is not good enough ,i will continue studying.
ok, that is all,thank you for your attention.
my hometown------luoyang
i am from luoyang,a beautiful city in henan province. it is famous as the capital of nine dynasties and enjoy yhe honer that luoyang peony is the best in the world.
luoyang played a very important role in chinese history. so it has a profound cultural background and many great heritagesites have been well reverved. such as longmen grotto, one of the three grottoes in china ang white horse temple, being regarded as the cradle of chnese buddhism.
luoyang peony is world-famous. every year, many tourists travel to luoyang to see the beauty of peony .the people in my hometown are friendly, they welcome the travellers from all over the world.
i like my hometown very much.

姓名
籍贯或者家庭主要概况等等
没有你介绍个P给人家
赶紧补充

Hello, my dear teachers and classmates, nice to meet you all. My name is***. I come from****(your place of birth).You know, I'm so excited that I'm somewhat nervous now.Anyway, as a freshman, I hope to get well with you and create a brilliant future with you.

我来帮你吧
A very good morning to you all,teachers and classmates！Please allow me to introduce myself first.My name is ***,I am *** years old,coming from *** city.I have the honor to spend the college life with you here.I know our teachers are kind and classmates are friendly.But I feel ashamed that I could not do well in my lessons before.I make up my mind to study hard and try to get good marks.You must be good students and I hope you can help me.Anyway,I believe we can get on well in the new school term and be good friends.
That's all,thank you.