TV后面,应该是I want to be able to,want to do sth
control后面的me改成myself,这里该用反身代词
in my opinion 后面,应该是watching tv,因为后面有动词can,这里必须是非谓语形式
最后不该用however,前面既说了用电脑的坏处也说了自己认为电脑有用,用however转折不对,可以换成 In general(总的来说)
after the school / after scool
at their lesson / on their lesson
I want be able / I want to be abled
一个拼写错误accept
in my opinion,watch tv / in my opinion, watching tv
after school 表示“放学后”,不要加定冠词the。
their lesson翻译为他们的教训可以改为 when they have a class当他们在上课的时候。
Digory. And so it was; though of course,