雅思作文批改 剑四test4小作文 (高分求修改)

line graph -- curve graph/diagram
represents(代表，是有象征性的) -- shows/demonstrates
accompanying 去掉
some popular countries UK residents visit at the same time
during the years of 1979 and 1986 -- from ... to ...
increased slightly from 10 millions to about 13 millions during ...
by UK residents 去掉
as people who traveled to England -- while/and
gradually -- steadily
from 12 millions to 20 millions at the same time -- 去掉at the same time：前面已经有Meanwhile
UK residents visited abroad -- visiting
which is peaking at -- peak at
who were coming to travel -- coming to travel
30 millions -- 30 million
until 1999 -- in ;or you can say: rose from 13 million until 1999(approximately 30 millions).
When study --studying/looking into/analysing
visited by UK residents 1999 -- 尽量不用被动
some European countries of France -- such as/like/eg...
of American and Turkey -- like
France by far the most popular -- is
choose to travel -- choose to travel in/choose/go to
comes the second country for UK residents to visit -- comes the second; " for UK residents to visit "删掉
which is little less -- a little
than that for France -- than those going to France
Somewhat surprising -- Somewhat surprisingly
traveled -- ing
recorded here as relatively low in the same chart -- are ... the lowest... in the chart
they are -- namely/that is/viz