自己设计的英语演讲程序。望各位指出不足。谢谢你们

开始写得不错，也没有太大的语法错误，但是最后的If I can do it改成 If i could do that 比较有礼貌。而且最后结尾有点仓促，最好改一下，其他都没什么问题了，祝你成功。

I give you a speech 把A改成THE 因为这个演讲你已经提过了,所以是特指
Who can show your dreams with me?把WITH改为FOR或者整个句子改为 who can tell me about your dreams?
OK.Just now we all hear that both of them have different dreams.And what do you think of their dreams？Are they perfect? 把ALL去掉 把HAVE 改为HAS
some people dream of 把some people 改为others
staying young forever把staying 改为keeping
And I will be able to 把be able to 改为can
Beijingand learn more about China在learn 前加and
I try to read English novels and magazine改为I have tried to...
We all know前加as

speak beautiful English 在speak 后加a
I can speak English very

well 改为I can speak a beautiful English
这些仅仅是我个人的看法,你要不同意也不要紧,呵呵加油!祝你在演讲当中成功!

*Before I give you a speech,I want to konw that some of your drames.
*Before giving you a speech,I would like to know some of your dreams..

Great Carnegie
Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (originally Carnegey) (November 24, 1888–November 1, 1955) was an American writer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills. Born in poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, first published in 1936, a massive bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote a biography of Abraham Lincoln, titled Lincoln the Unknown, as well as several other books.

Carnegie was an early proponent of what is now called responsibility assumption, although this only appears minutely in his written work. One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's reaction to them.

Or
Born in 1888 in Buffalo, Missouri, Carnegie was a poor farmer's boy, the second son of James William Carnagey and Amanda Elizabeth Harbison. In his teens, though still having to get up at 4 a.m. every day to milk his parents' cows, he managed to get educated at the State Teacher's College in Warrensburg. His first job after college was selling correspondence courses to ranchers; then he moved on to selling bacon, soap and lard for Armour & Company. He was successful to the point of making his sales territory, southern Omaha, the national leader for the firm.

After saving $500, Carnegie quit sales in 1911 in order to pursue a lifelong dream of becoming a Chautauqua lecturer. He ended up instead attending the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York, but found little success as an actor (though it is written that he played the role of Dr. Hartley in a road show of Polly of the Circus. When the production ended, he returned to New York, unemployed, nearly broke, and living at the YMCA on 125th Street. It was there that he got the idea to teach public speaking, and he persuaded the "Y" manager to allow him to instruct a class in return for 80% of the net proceeds. In his first session, he had run out of material; improvising, he suggested that students speak about "something that made them angry", and discovered that the technique made speakers unafraid to address a public audience. From this 1912 debut, the Dale Carnegie Course evolved. Carnegie had tapped into the average American's desire to have more self-confidence, and by 1914, he was earning $500 - the equivalent of nearly $10,000 now - every week.

Perhaps one of Carnegie’s most successful marketing moves was to change the spelling of his last name from “Carnegey” to Carnegie, at a time when Andrew Carnegie was a widely revered and recognized name. By 1916, Dale was able to rent Carnegie Hall itself for a lecture to a packed house. [Carnegie's first collection of his writings was Public Speaking: a Practical Course for Business Men (1926), later entitled Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business (1932). His crowning achievement, however, was when Simon & Schuster published How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book was a bestseller from its debut in 1937, in its 17th printing within a few months. By the time of Carnegie's death, the book had sold five million copies in 31 languages, and there had been 450,000 graduates of his Dale Carnegie Institute

His first marriage ended in divorce in 1931. On November 5, 1944, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, he married Dorothy Price Vanderpool, who also had been divorced. Vanderpool had two daughters; Rosemary, from her first marriage, and Donna Dale from their marriage together.

Though it has been stated that Dale Carnegie died of uremia[7], it is widely rumored that he died at age 66 by committing suicide,[citation needed] the official biography from Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. states that he died of Hodgkin's disease on November 1, 1955.[8] He was buried in the Belton, Cass County, Missouri cemetery.

参考资料：http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie