英语作文改错求帮助啊~~~~~！！！！希望有人能帮我把我朋友的错误改出来呢！！！求助啊

On sunday, I look out of the downstairs window in my house. There are some children playing in the park, the weather is sunny. A sliver of the sun peeks out from the horizon; bright red and full of enegery. A lot of people are sitting in chairs under the tree, talking with one another. Not too far away, a trendy girl walks down a narrow path as the sky slowly turns red along with the clouds. (A helicopeter flys over my head. People look comfortable??... I pick up my phone and it shows "I'm not a magician, you are". ) You have come into my pitch black world, becoming my brightest star. My mother tells me to eat dinner, so the story ends here.

括号里的没读懂他想说什么。。。。。。。。。。o.O 你要是post中文可以翻译一下。。。

看的我都晕迷了，这篇短文写得真的是语无伦次。我只改语法上的错误吧。

On Sunday,I look out of the window of the downstair of my house. There is a small park, children are playing there.The weather is nice (It is sunny).There was a sliver of the sun peeking out from the horizon ,bright red full of energy(完全不明白是什么意思，所以不改这句了). A lot of people bring their own chairs and sit under the tree.They are talking to each other. Not far, there is a fashionable girl walking on a small path. The sky slowly changes to red.The clouds on the sky. A heliopter flies over my head.There are people look like very comfortable.I pick up my phone, I see my phone shows: I'm not a magician, you are." You came into my deep black world, and you easily became the brightest star.My mother said this to me while we were eating dinner.

On Sunday ,looked out of the window,I saw some children playing in the park downstairs of my house.The weather was nice（因为还没有太多的阳光所以不好用sunny吧), the sun was rising above the horizon with bright red and full of energy. A lot of people were sitting in the chairs under the trees and chatting with(或talking to) each other. Not far away（或not too far), a fashion girl was walking(或was taking her walk) in the small paths (of the park) .Slowly, the silver sky was changing into red. (Among the clouds) in the sky, a helicopter(plane) flew over our head. The people there seemed to be very comfortable(...我不能理解到底是什么情况，是飞机还是直升机？是看飞机的人爽还是坐飞机的人爽，我写的意思是那里的人很comfortable，就让看文章的人自己去猜吧^_^).
Picked up my phone, I saw the phone was displaying," I'm not a magician but you are.You come into my pitch black world and easily become the brightest star." Then, my mother called me to dinner and I ended the wrting.

c错误太多了吧